A Shift...

The other day I was researching a psychological theorist recommended in a book by a writer I admire very much. This theorist has contributed immensely to the discourse on the structure of the brain, and upended much of what we previously believed to be true. When I went to the website of this person who is instrumental in shifting knowledge, what I found was a request for payment for subscription, in order to have access to this knowledge.

I can certainly understand the compilation of knowledge - a “book” - as a thing to charge direct compensation for, but something really rubbed me the wrong way that this person believed all of their new and old thoughts were so valuable that someone should pay a (significant) monthly or yearly fee for access to them, especially where they claim that the reception of their knowledge could be of service to a more just and peaceful world.

And then a little tiny voice asked me… isn’t that exactly what you’re doing with Substack?

During the worst of the pandemic, when I felt completely lost and adrift, that same little voice would repeat to me in meditation: “Just keep putting art in the world.” It didn’t say, “Just keep asking the world to pay you for your art,” or “Just keep posting stuff in order to get validated” or “Just keep looking for ways to make money off your work.” It just said to release it.

It’s not that I don’t think my labor is worthy of compensation, and, listen, I don’t think there’s anything fundamentally wrong with the subscription model if that’s your jam. But I think it doesn’t feel organic for me, and for how I would like my relationship to my writing and my artwork to function. So here’s a change I’m making:

All posts, Wednesdays and Saturdays, will be paywall-free. The only difference between a paid account and a free account is that paid accounts may leave comments on the work. I have also added another pay-what-you-want option, if that feels like something you want to do.

(Unfortunately, Substack insists that minimum has to be more than their minimum yearly option, $30 - so I set it for $31. Apologies that you can’t do less.)

If you would like to cancel your monthly subscription and switch to a free one, please do so. If you would like to cancel your yearly (though no one will come up for resubscription until November), please do so. If you would like to shift to some other amount you decide on, please do so.

Last night I dreamt vividly - viscerally - that I was falling, endlessly falling. Usually when I have this dream I clench against it, but last night I managed, somehow, to let go. I waited for impact and impact never came. I will likely never in this lifetime let go of materiality, attachment, and a desire for validating feedback (in the form of compensation or otherwise), but refusing to participate in certain activities that feel like grasping, one tiny refusal at a time, feels at least like growth. Thanks for joining me on the journey.